I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
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I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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