do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
