My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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