I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
