I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
