just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
