her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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