Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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