i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
whose ass print is on the piano?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
