ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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