she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
