That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
