Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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