That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
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1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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