Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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