i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
