she smelled like a LAN party
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize