you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
