420 ftw
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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