where does the pee come out of this thing
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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