Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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