Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
