I puked a lego.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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