tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
