she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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