Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We got so high we made milksteak
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
