WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i've created a new STD.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
