He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
