Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just found a bag of teeth...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
