I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
