Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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