Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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