I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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