I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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