So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize