oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
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You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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