please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize