i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Im part way to drunk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
