READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
