in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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