remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize