ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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