Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
