i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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