i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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