im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
