why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize