Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
