I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize