He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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