So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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