Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize