WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize