Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
