He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
