Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
